Music Improves.

This doesn’t exactly match up to Music Heals The Soul, but I guess this is my way of saying that these are the sounds that I’ve been going on in the weeks gone past.

I think Somebody To Love is such an evocative opener, or rather it has an evocative opening. Still, I suspect I think that way mainly because I watched Little DJ – Chiisa Na Monogatari. Moving down the list, there’s lots and lots of acoustic-ish guitar strumming and arpeggios. I guess that’s because there’s lots of Wilco. Most days in these past few weeks, I haven’t really been in the mood for Rock. Not everything’s mellow and comfortably abstract, though. Have I ever mentioned that I think If She Wants Me is one of the most infectiously happy songs ever? Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood is similarly animating. (The song was also mentioned in American Gods by Neil Gaiman, but he was probably referring to the version by The Animals.) I hope you get my drift. These songs have made many days and many hours better.

I am falling into quite a negative pattern of rush posts just before I leave the house to catch the boat. In a way, I guess I had much more I felt I had to write this weekend, but I never found the time, so this is… a compromise.

Still happy.

Music Heals The Soul

The songs on the list had most of my attention throughout the length they were played. I started with the beat of ‘The Sporting Life’, before getting lost in the narrative of ‘The Bagman’s Gambit’. Like the escapist. 

 

Music Heals The Soul #1

“Anodyne” is one of those words I kind of know and could probably use properly, but I went to look it up today. Musical escape may not be a cure, but maybe the effect will be enough. Also, ’Heals The Soul’ may sound extravagant, but stuff like Holst and ‘Daphnis et Chloe’ made me aspire again.

The above best paired with:

I don’t know if the pattern was intentional or not, but certainly I was thinking, ‘Good service.’

Mellow

I feel like a little macro. This is the inevitable result of attempting to force disparate systems to mesh, because all these little workflows just come up, seemingly from nowhere, and you end up doing this string of little things once for each of your X pages, or X passages, or X phrases. If all this sounds very technical, that would be ironic, because I’m manifestly not an adept technician. If more musicians were, or if more technical geniuses were musicians, the whole MI experience could be made significantly less draining. The other reason I’m drained is the fact of the X hours of sleep I’ve had in the last thirty-eight.

(Between the above and the following, I took a walk.)

I’m asking myself: what else can I remember? The term’s over, but the strain of sprinting through the last stretch of it is still weighing on my brain, and I feel like I’m forgetting things.

Sprinting is something I seem to have been doing a lot recently. I’ve found myself chasing buses I’d had to catch on an inordinate number of occasions recently, from about the time of the Olympics. If that sentence triggered your anticipation of a bad parallel, well, it’s coming, but I didn’t plan it that way: I distinctly remember sprinting for a 74 and wondering what it would be like to be Usain Bolt. Buses aside, I’ve also been running around quite a bit in the course of finishing up my compo recordings.

While we’re on the subject of compos, finishing ‘Hearth Fantasy’ last Thursday night was definitely one of the high points of the term. I suppose IOC might be another; I’ve mentioned some of the circumstances, but there were other things too. I remember my resolve when I decided to drop everything and start IOC immersion, five days before the event. Funnily enough, I can’t remember what the ‘everything’ I had to ‘drop’ was; some things are coming back more clearly than others. One of the things I am clearly remembering is the feeling of lightness that followed my resolution. I don’t remember the stress, though I imagine it was present in some degree. If it was present, it didn’t stop me from actually enjoying the preparation, for instance during my first slow read-through of Lear since year 5. Discussions, practices and eating from trays were fun too.

I’m trying to remember things that came after IOC, but I’ve stalled. Were Music IAs really that bad? I’ve mentioned before that I’m quite happy not to have done Music-with-a-capital-M in secondary school, and one reason is that I think I might have worn myself out early. (I still might; I’ve provided less philosophical reasons before, though….) I suppose all this points to the thought or feeling that I’m having: Too much music. (Or, surfeit, for the Twelfth Night people.) It is a chilling thought. Perhaps its the mechanics of cutting and splicing and transcribing and using Sibelius, which combines the worst aspects of data entry and learning to play an instrument, that’ve worn me down. Composing was hard work, but it was also fulfilling work, and recording the Invention and the song was enjoyable, if not exactly professionally satisfying; but I’ve still been avoiding putting on my earphones recently. I suppose that might be a natural response to repeat listening of phrases and sections (in contrast to songs).

Before this gets any more depressing, I shall remember the Magical Musical Experience of Brahms’ 2nd piano concerto. Matthew was tired and fell asleep halfway, and my juniors thought it was draggy, but I was absolutely enthralled. I thought it was That good. I suppose it’s funny that the only reason I even thought of going for the concert in the middle of IA-rush was the Rouse trombone concerto. (Good, but not Enthralling.)

I’ve spent a good long time writing. I suppose, in a way, I may be trying to make the most of a rather wearing term, but really there’s so much to be grateful for, especially as I realize how much I’ve struggled through the term only half-aware of things. (I’m extremely grateful for the people who’ve been understanding and patient and caring.)

I’m looking forward to Turandot tomorrow, IA-free prelims prep, the prelims, and whatever comes after. Now, I need to sleep.

Recurrences

“It’s just a dream he keeps having
But it doesn’t seem to mean anything.” – Summer Teeth by Wilco

This is on loop in my head. I suppose there’s irony intended, but usually I just think ‘okay’ when I hear it.

Recurring dreams have been a source of stress for me in term two, but only because they are Significant (‘clearly, the influence of psychoanalytical theory…’). This is the Significance that is inevitable in constructions, or at least inevitably looked for, and so often looked for outside constructions also, which is just too bad. Or at least that’s how I feel sometimes.

Breather

It is Friday night and I am taking a deep breath.

Ok.

Starting from last Friday, my mind has been on my EE almost exclusively, and I’d been rushing towards 4000 words by Thursday. The only time I’ve taken my mind off of it was for a bit of word lit. 1 on sunday, ToK yesterday night (even then I fell asleep), and about 30 minutes worth of compo on Wednesday. I can’t wait to get back to that. Even Chem and Math tests this week were a blur. I studied for Chem in the car in the morning, and I remembered about Math while walking up from the SAC after being reminded by Chaya. It was a minute or so to the test. My sleep cycle has been only slightly messed up, but I’ve fallen asleep without intending to once or twice.

But mainly, I guess having any single assignment on the mind for too long suffocates. I felt like the quality of my output was falling towards the end, and I suspect that when I re-read it I’ll find out the extent of it. The way I felt like I shouldn’t be doing anything else first was also slightly strange. I think I managed to think my EE into my subconscious, or perhaps I was so tired that I never questioned the urgency of it. It was kind of urgent, but not as urgent as it felt like. I only realized how much I was feeling the weight of it some time today, when I thought, ‘It’s Friday and… Oh, it’s Friday.’ But on the bright side, most of my ideas have materialized, though I think I’ll be changing quite a lot of my essay before Monday. But right now, it’s still Friday. And I look forward to sleeping early.

It is a little sad that thinking back over the past 10 days or so I don’t remember anything clearly. The only clear impression I got was of the music I’ve been listening to. Today it was the Futureheads. (It’s like caffeine, or maybe sugar; I’m much more disposed to the former.) Thursday night it was the Stills. I’ve lost myself in both bands before, several times over the past few years. In a few years, or months, I’ll probably remember the music I’ll be mentioning after this in much the same way: I’ve been listening to Brahms’ ‘Ein deutsches Requiem’ quite a bit. Those I got from Daryl. I’ve also been listening to quite a few waltzes (a Ravel one particularly, also from Daryl), movie music (Spirited Away, Tiersen; the piano-ish kind), and generally quite a lot of instrumental music. Two exceptions of note: Belle & Sebastian (If You’re Feeling Sinister, Dear Catastrophe Waitress, The Life Pursuit) and especially Wilco (Sky Blue Sky, Summerteeth). I’ve been listening to those two bands a lot, especially before Thursday.

To anyone else feeling the strain (that would be a lot of people): Take a deep breath. Friday’s a good day, and you’re through with the week. Ain’t that great?

Spark

I have made substantial progress on the compositional front today. I have most of one piece down, just from today’s work. But perhaps that’s not strictly true, since the ideas have been floating around for a while. Still, I am quite amazed and happy. And even better, playing it (there’s a part for trombone) might actually be challenging. Only a small downside, and one I don’t really mind having; the possibility of expanding it has been one I’ve avoided thinking about too much. Perhaps I might be less daunted by the prospect when I wake up tomorrow morning.

I locked my computer up from Saturday until yesterday, but yesterday I didn’t do anything except sleep when I got home. That’s the longest stretch I’ve gone without using my computer since I’ve bought it, with the exception of camps and such.

Grace Lee and the SSO performed Ravel’s Tzigane on Saturday night, and it was Excellent. Kind of like what I described a few months ago in this post, but better.

Playlist 2007

This list is limited: there aren’t any purely instrumental songs; none of the songs are more than 5:19; the songs are pop/rock (this is a Vague Label); etc. The songs are from albums or artists I’ve listened to a lot in the year in some instances, but not in others. The list isn’t representative in any well-defined sense. So why the list? Well, these songs have been part of life in 2007.

Some of the songs have been animating forces at some time or other [9, 15]. (I think no. 1 could be considered one of those animating forces as well. It’s my alarm clock tone. It also makes a good playlist opener.) Some other songs were equally infectious, but they didn’t fill up as much as they washed over [4, 7, 8]. Some are imprinted on the memory from time spent practicing [10, 11]. They might be walking songs [5, 14] or running songs [9, 12], or otherwise strongly associated with a time or mood [2, 6, 14, pretty much everything]. But, whatever else it may be, it’s a worthy list.

Your Nerves Will Spark With Yesterday’s Static

I was listening to some of the “Lights, Camera ACtion!” (December ‘06 band concert) and “Haven” recordings today. Quite often, I cringe when I listen to them, but they make me smile as well. (That kind of gets me strange looks in town, but then lots of music makes me smile.) I think overall, there’s more affection than disdain.

It might be narcissism; I performed in both events. To say that I have ‘pride in my work’ verges on euphemism. Actually, it would be untrue because in the state I’m sometimes in when listening to music (quite often when its classical or band), I listen for perfection, and the performance is definitely quite far from it. Even expression-wise, some interpretations just strike me as spot-on while others just sound ‘off’, even if they might be ‘valid’. I don’t always play (or live) up to my own standard, though.

That might be hypocrisy, but were I to attempt to detect my own self-consciousness, I’d explode in the feedback loop. External detection is generally less dangerous.

I am reminded of a mini-arc from Templar, Arizona that is startlingly appropriate. Read it! It’s only about five strips long or so. It would be a good diversion even if it wasn’t in any way relevant. The language might offend, though.

I remember when I used to cringe in the dark at concerts. I vaguely remember failing to limit the apparent symptoms, and it has probably distracted a few fellow audience members who’ve had the misfortune of being seated around me. Growing out of that nasty habit definitely increased my enjoyment. Also, on the providential occasions I am offered a sustained vision of perfection, the experience is orgasmic.

The huge difference between the recording and the concert, of course, is the experience. It’s sensory in memory. The recordings I mentioned at the beginning were the memory stimulators today. There tends to be a good post-event supper for band concert. The air backstage and in the hall have their (sometimes strange) smells, and I would venture to say that the air at concerts is slightly more ionized. Watching all those great concerts at VCH and the Esplanade are a big reason why I love the area so much. When it’s not just the sound, the flaws aren’t that big a deal. The atmosphere just has to be great, never perfect.

And, really, this is an afterthought: Do watch some concerts this holiday! Not necessarily any of the three of mine! But that’s definitely welcome! I sense a disturbance in the Force from the ‘Yeah, right!’ thought bubbles forming, but This Is Not An Advertisement! (No, the comic’s not reverse psychology!)

(This Is) The Dream of Evan and Chan

It was familiar to me, the smoke too thick to breathe. The tile floors glistened; I slowly stirred my drink.
And when he started to sing, you spoke with broken speech that I could not understand.
And then you grabbed me tightly.

I won’t let go, I won’t let go.
Even if you say so, oh no.
I’ve tried and tried with no results.
I won’t let go, I won’t let go.

He then played every song from 1993. The crowd applauded as he curtsied bashfully.
Your eyelashes tickled my neck with every nervous blink, and it was perfect until the telephone started ringing ringing ringing ringing ringing off.

From the Wiki:
“(This Is) The Dream of Evan and Chan” is a song by Dntel (Jimmy Tamborello), featuring the vocals and lyrics by Ben Gibbard. The song was recorded for the album Life Is Full of Possibilities in 2001. “Evan and Chan” was so well-received that the two collaborated on a full-length album, Give Up, which they released as The Postal Service in 2003.

There is some speculation on who the title characters Evan and Chan are in the context of the song; some have suggested that given the reference to 1993 from the lyrics and Tamborello’s instructions to pronounce Chan as “Chawn”, Evan Dando of the Lemonheads and Chan Marshall, also known as Cat Power, might be the Evan and Chan from the title. This has been confirmed by Tamborello himself, who says the song was written about a strange dream Ben Gibbard had involving the two musicians.