Home > Reflection > Shake It Off

Shake It Off

‘When I’m awake enough
I’m gonna shake it off.
Shake it off.’ – Shake It Off by Wilco

Whenever that is as long as it isn’t later.

Lack of sleep must be an excuse because despite sleeping just two hours on Wednesday/Thursday, I experienced an hour or two of fantastic clarity sometime before evening. It was a contrast to the general feeling of vagueness I had been experiencing for quite a while. Perhaps that feeling was the result of doing so many things that I thought I couldn’t really afford to think too much about them. The two hours or so went a long way to turn that trend around; it was spent on reflection.

Remembering it feels strange because I wonder if that really happened and if the circularity of telling myself it did is invalidating. It’s odd to remember clarity when the present isn’t quite as clear. It is the uncertainty about whether it is memory, the remembered experience itself, or the present perception that is the problem. At least, the reflection was not left undocumented, and I did make some effort to flesh out some of the points rather than take it for granted that I’d understand myself later on (something I’m prone to), perhaps in anticipation of the situation I find myself in now. Well, all is not lost.

I’ve also noticed a resurgence or relapse of what I call my contempt problem. In recent weeks, I have noticed-ignored-forgotten symptoms like the increased use of words like ‘useless’. It is something I shall attempt to rectify.

Categories: Reflection
  1. fab
    19 May 2008 at 12:22 am

    Eh at least this season (like the real BPL haha) was pretty open. No like one or two horse race like previous ones. Next season could be interesting, Jian Yang has emerged as a dark horse. =D Eh it was pretty tight towards the end, but I swear after making up my 100 points behind JY I deserve at least second place… haha you did awesome, man.

  2. Cuthbert
    19 May 2008 at 12:29 am

    Lol quite fun lah. Kept having to catch JY.

  3. 19 May 2008 at 10:56 am

    heh…coffee+IB = 0:00.

  4. JE
    19 May 2008 at 9:52 pm

    in response to your comment on my blog, what i did see was that the drummer was raping his cymbals and stuff.

  5. 'neth
    20 May 2008 at 8:40 pm

    regarding your contempt problem, well. let’s just say i can empathise. :/

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