Home > Exclamations > The Post I Should Have Written A Week Ago

The Post I Should Have Written A Week Ago

I feel like I was flung bodily from 2009 to 2010. Christmas and the New Year were kind of a bust for me. (‘Feeling out of it’ only scratches the surface.) The rather lousy few days leading up to the 25th culminated with me sleeping most of Christmas Day away. Still, it proved to be a badly-needed wake-up call (I am grimacing at my own metaphor, but once again I have a boat to catch). There was guilt, and I also realized what a mess I’d made of my block leave. Christmas night saw me using my SOC skills in a real situation for the first time when I entered a church compound (not in the Dover area) sometime near midnight. I guess I felt like I couldn’t let the day slip away.

Three or four of the days after Christmas and before the new year (oh, the lost days) saw me being involved in activities specially organized by my employer-of-sorts (I receive an allowance, not a salary) and being confined to my place of work because of inept administrative management to receive a reprimand with my fellow transgressors that further convinced us that the management in general was less than credible.

Then there was the New Year itself. I spent that night awake in someone else’s room, working on the last essay for my CommonApp. I’m not too worried for that essay, despite it being rather rushed, because the content was something that I’d had milling in my head for a long time. Still, that night we weren’t even able to get midnight food delivery, and we mainly idled around the room. It was rather happy idling, but idling nonetheless, I suppose.

The days after the New Year were emotionally stressful, and I think I’ll leave it at that.

I realize I’ve referred to about half a month’s worth of general dissatisfaction and resentment, with the occasional bout of severe depression or anger in this rush post. Still, there were moments of brokenness that I treasure. I would also like to express my genuine gratitude to and gratefulness for the people who reached out to me during that time. It was a helluva rough ride.

The reason I say I should have written this last week is that my new year has started in earnest with 01/10 of Z, the receipt of my ACT results and the upcoming interview for the university I applied to, although, sadly, I still don’t feel like I’ve quite finished with 2009.

Categories: Exclamations
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