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In Hope

To my relentless consciousness
(If only to prove that I
Can logic defy),

I refuse to stop myself
From undermining me;
I determine that tomorrow I
Will be worse off.

I want to be justified
By not having needed justification.

For all that, this could be
My attempt
At moderation through excess.

Yet my refusal
Is not a retreat,
Is a hell-ward headlong rush to prove
That I am not sinking.

I need to feel
Like I needed this.

In the hope of a new course,

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